Working with the heart

working with the heart

Working as psychologist in Amsterdam, day after day I realize that what really helps in getting out of our emotional dis-ease is the heart. It may seem a commonplace and maybe it is not scientific information, but I here I want to risk exposing myself to criticism and, to be honest, I don’t care so much about that anyway.


We forgot the heart in the basement. We relegated it in a dark corner and we let the head take over, making us insensitive and calculating. We allowed it to do this without protesting so much, pretending nothing was happening – better this than accepting the chaos of emotions, feelings and fears in which we live. We chose not to see, not to take responsibility for who we are and what happens to us: failure, loneliness, not taking risks, regrets etc. Every situation in our life is a mirror that reflects who we are: if we recognize our responsibility (not guilt!)  for our emotional dis-ease, then we are close to a significant change.


Overcoming our emotional crisis is possible, but we need to be courageous and take the risk to live and feel (through the heart) the pain we carry inside us. Only then we can finally open up to life in a new way.


We live in a mechanical society, in which the slogan that was screamed a couple of decades ago by an Italian band is dominant: “Produci Consuma Crepa!” (“Produce Consume Die!”, CCCP-“Morire”). This is the joke in which we live. We are “cannon fodder”: forced to produce doing jobs that are mostly useless, absurd and frustrating; to consume products without limit and beyond our possibilities – products that are mostly useless, absurd and frustrating; and to die quickly, because we have become mostly useless, absurd and frustrating!


In my job I try to put the heart first. I see that it is missing and there is so much fog obscuring our minds, which are so civilized but still so childish and emotionally immature as well. It took centuries to create our technological supremacy at the expense of the earth’s resources and of the poorest countries, but emotionally we are not older than 7/8. We don’t take the responsibility for who we are, for the choices we make and for where we want to go. We stagnate in the middle, without even trying to be happy, because to do it we should admit that we got ourselves into trouble and that therefore we are the only ones who can get ourselves out of it. We are afraid to feel our pain, to pass through it and be born again to life, because it implies awareness, effort and acceptance of the unknown. We are afraid to leave our safe daily dis-ease to live the mystery of life.


We must commit ourselves to relax our mind, clean it well and bring clarity; disengage from the pattern Produce-Consume-Die, and simply return to live life according to our emotions, putting love, in all its forms, in the first place.


Someone once said that therapy is necessary because there is not enough love in the world. I fully agree. Let the head sustain us in the practical things of life and let’s start taking decisions by asking what our heart wants to do. The joy of living is right there, and if we finally trust our heart to guide us with its dazzling passion, there cannot be barriers between us and the happiness we long for. “Provare per credere” (“you must try it to believe it”) was a slogan in an old Italian commercial…Yes, we must stop believing without trying, without putting ourselves in the first place, without risking what is safe for the unknown… to finally take a bite of a reality sandwich. Enjoy your meal.


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Author: Somesh Valentino Curti

“Beside my work as psychologist I like to write articles for my website and other online magazines like: and
In this way I can share my experience on valuable topics which might be useful for you if you are in a therapy process or if you are simply wondering about them. My wish is that these articles can add insights and a deeper understanding about your life”

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